I always thought the day I wanted to severely injure a stand-up comedian would be the day I experienced severe trauma in my life. Seeing as how my life is quite well, I guess that is not the case. Listening to Daniel Tosh bash my home made me want to impale my laptop with a pitchfork. However, seeing as how I still need my laptop for quite some time, I decided not to give Tosh the gift of my fury through meaningless violence. A war of insults is best settled with words.
The first of his statements is that ethanol is a “dumb” dream. Quite interesting how a “dumb” dream is going to be saving Americans money once the production is increased. If his Sports Utility Vehicle does not run on corn, I hope he enjoys spending half of his income on gasoline.
Nobody has to pretend they like Nebraska because there are millions of people that do. Although, I am rather surprised that after an hour in Omaha, Tosh would rather be picked up by a tornado and taken some place…at least he has a choice in the matter. Fifteen minutes in Los Angeles, Tosh’s current residence, I would be shot, stabbed, mugged, kidnapped, and sold to orange grove managers as a slave. I am quite certain Tosh would be staring at a crowd of Nebraskans for all of two seconds before the entire crowd rushed the stage like the Cornhuskers’ defensive line blitzing a Colorado quarterback.
I sure hope that Daniel Tosh brings his act to Nebraska some day. Not only to prove that not all Nebraskans are fat or that we eat fried mayonnaise (which is impossible to make), but to show that the Cornhuskers are not the only ones that could perform a crushing tackle. I wonder how many physicians at University of Nebraska Medical Center know how to treat a severed spine?
The first of his statements is that ethanol is a “dumb” dream. Quite interesting how a “dumb” dream is going to be saving Americans money once the production is increased. If his Sports Utility Vehicle does not run on corn, I hope he enjoys spending half of his income on gasoline.
Nobody has to pretend they like Nebraska because there are millions of people that do. Although, I am rather surprised that after an hour in Omaha, Tosh would rather be picked up by a tornado and taken some place…at least he has a choice in the matter. Fifteen minutes in Los Angeles, Tosh’s current residence, I would be shot, stabbed, mugged, kidnapped, and sold to orange grove managers as a slave. I am quite certain Tosh would be staring at a crowd of Nebraskans for all of two seconds before the entire crowd rushed the stage like the Cornhuskers’ defensive line blitzing a Colorado quarterback.
I sure hope that Daniel Tosh brings his act to Nebraska some day. Not only to prove that not all Nebraskans are fat or that we eat fried mayonnaise (which is impossible to make), but to show that the Cornhuskers are not the only ones that could perform a crushing tackle. I wonder how many physicians at University of Nebraska Medical Center know how to treat a severed spine?
2 comments:
You are aware that he was being sarcastic about a lot of what you're complaining about, right?
It's like with Matt Stone and Trey Parker ripping on celebrities. It's all in good fun and you really should just laugh a little. I'm from West Virginia, and we get TONS of incest based jokes and more, and I still laugh because it doesn't directly offend me because I know it is all in good fun.
And about ethanol, he was JOKING. Obviously by the way that he said it, he was joking.
Lol...the funniest thing is...this was just a filler entry for my English class. I was bored and went with it. I really don't care what anybody says about Nebraska. Good lord! If I was that defensive, I'd end up killing myself! :P
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